Client: I have this page that I can’t get to work in Netscape. Think you could have a look at it? I’d need it by the 20th.
Me: Browser Compatiblity issues? Sure, I know lots about that. I spend nearly half my time dealing with that it seems sometimes.
Me: So now that I’ve re-written the show/hide code to use the library that I’ve been using for years, you’re going to work just fine right?
IE 4/5/6: Yep.
NS 4: Well, actually. I’m going to work semi-randomly, for reasons that won’t appear logical until your delirious with frustration.
Me: C’mon netscape. When I delete all the table-formatting and end-paragraph tags you work. So how come you won’t work with tables?
NS4: Well, you see, the person who wrote me was on crack, and decided that having end-cell and end-row tags would break any DIV tags, but not having them would break any tables.
Me: So I’m hooped?
NS4: Well, you could re-layout the entire page exclusively with layers.
Me: And you’ll work then?
NS4: try it out and we’ll see.
Monday Night, 12:30 AM
Me: Alright. There we go. It took twice as long as it should have, but the page is all laid out exclusively with layers.
IE 4/5/6: I’m still happy.
NS 4: Well, I would work, except that you defined your styles in-line. So again. I’ll work semi-randomly.
Me: Ok. So I’ll define all the styles at the top of the page, and simply call them in by their ID. Will that work?
NS 4: Sure. Oh wait. You want that div positioned abosolutely? In relation to what? the page? it’s parent DIV? I can’t tell.
Me: Well, CSS dictates that you should do it in relation to that layer’s parent. Which is why I defined a framing layer.
NS 4: Oh, so The Man is telling me what to do? Well let me tell you, Netscape don’t work for The Man. Netscape is The People’s browser. So how about this. Layers that start visible, I’ll position in relation to their parent layer. But those hidden ones? Well, I’m just gonna have to position those in relation to the page. Just to throw off all your calculations.
Me: So I’ll have no real idea on where they’re going to show up in relation to the parent layer.
NS 4: That about sums it up.
Me: So I’m hooped.
NS 4: Yep.
NS 4: You said it.