Episode II’s plot is intentionally a whiz-bang labyrinth, designed to force repeated viewings or to require the purchase of one of those nerd-guidebooks. Here’s the skeleton of the complex story, best I can figure (warning, spoilers ahead): Our heroes are initially trapped in a G-rated junior-high production of Blade Runner. Then some scenes from Spaceballs happen, but they’re funnier. Then Obi-Wan goes to an oil rig on Waterworld, except now it’s named El Camino and is controlled by compulsively sanitary anorexics doing stem cell research to create an entire demographic of Steven Seagals out of jazz guitarist Django Reinhardt. Then Jar Jar Binks gives the withering dad from “Alf” control over the pressboxes at Alltel Stadium. Somehow, tanning-addict Anakin Timberlake ends up on “Fraggle Rock” helping Natalie Portman get a jogbra, but they run into the Lord of the Rings sorcerer fresh from a CEO haircut. Then all hell breaks loose in the Temple of Doom for about a half hour: imagine the battle of Gettysburg staged by Gaudi and Dali, with people slinging energy-dongs that negate all matter except other energy-dongs. The film ends on Thanksgiving Day just as some larval stormtroopers are lining up for the best Macy’s Parade ever.