Perfect Position

Often, when I’m having trouble sleeping, I get fixated on getting into the ‘perfect position’ to fall asleep in. This position will magically regulate my temperature, keep me comfortable and otherwise ensure that I sleep, well, perfectly. Oddly, when I’m semi-concious, in that not-quite-sleep, not-quite-awake stage, I can seemingly judge how close I am to this position. Of course, this is not just about how my body is laid out. Where the covers are are important, as is the pillow — perhaps the sheet needs to be tucked under my left foot, but my right foot needs to be under the duvet, but outside the sheet, etc. The pillow, perhaps sideways, with my head at the top-left corner, it going out away from me. You know, totally ridiculous things.

What this concern with finding the perfect sleeping position does, of course, is to distract me enough from whatever it is I’m really thinking about that eventually, I can fall asleep, close enough to that perfect position that I feel confident that I’ll sleep at least decently, even if it is 4:30am, and I’m to get up at 7:00am.

Does anyone else have these sort of weird I-can’t-sleep processes?

8 Replies to “Perfect Position”

  1. I too think about the perfect position for sleeping, but not necessarily as a method to get to sleep. Often i will find myself in the near-perfect position, except for … oh that foot! Or worse, I’ll think “Wow! This is is the perfect position!” and a moment later Dante will say “can you take your foot off my ankle?” and it’s ruined. And unfortunately I find that the more I think about it the less perfect it becomes.

  2. I too think about the perfect position for sleeping, but not necessarily as a method to get to sleep. Often i will find myself in the near-perfect position, except for … oh that foot! Or worse, I’ll think “Wow! This is is the perfect position!” and a moment later Dante will say “can you take your foot off my ankle?” and it’s ruined. And unfortunately I find that the more I think about it the less perfect it becomes.

  3. Yup. Get up out of bed, walk around the kitchen talking to myself about the thing that’s keeping me awake, have a sip of water (optional), go back to bed.

    If that doesn’t work, use the mind-relaxing technique I learned in yoga: allow the thoughts to come into your mind, but don’t grasp hold of them. Just let them come in, acknowledge that they’re there, and let them go. Focus on your breathing. Breathe in, breathe out. In, out. In, out. Make a serious study of the whole breathing thing. It’s all-absorbing. Bang, asleep in no time.

    I’ve also found that pretending that one is totally immobilized and physically unable to shift around is good for letting go of the pre-sleep wigglies.

  4. Yup. Get up out of bed, walk around the kitchen talking to myself about the thing that’s keeping me awake, have a sip of water (optional), go back to bed.

    If that doesn’t work, use the mind-relaxing technique I learned in yoga: allow the thoughts to come into your mind, but don’t grasp hold of them. Just let them come in, acknowledge that they’re there, and let them go. Focus on your breathing. Breathe in, breathe out. In, out. In, out. Make a serious study of the whole breathing thing. It’s all-absorbing. Bang, asleep in no time.

    I’ve also found that pretending that one is totally immobilized and physically unable to shift around is good for letting go of the pre-sleep wigglies.

  5. Remeber Homunculus Man? He’s the guy with the huge jaw, hands, feet. Imagine your jaw being ten times bigger than your face. It’s really easy, because from a sensory perspective it is. Get into this feeling. Be Homunculus. You’ll be buzzed and asleep before you know it.

    Or take Valerian. This herb blacks me out instantly.

    Or get a cat purring incessantly against one of your pulses.

    Or all of the blissful above.

  6. Remeber Homunculus Man? He’s the guy with the huge jaw, hands, feet. Imagine your jaw being ten times bigger than your face. It’s really easy, because from a sensory perspective it is. Get into this feeling. Be Homunculus. You’ll be buzzed and asleep before you know it.

    Or take Valerian. This herb blacks me out instantly.

    Or get a cat purring incessantly against one of your pulses.

    Or all of the blissful above.

  7. Remeber Homunculus Man? He’s the guy with the huge jaw, hands, feet. Imagine your jaw being ten times bigger than your face. It’s really easy, because from a sensory perspective it is. Get into this feeling. Be Homunculus. You’ll be buzzed and asleep before you know it.

    Or take Valerian. This herb blacks me out instantly.

    Or get a cat purring incessantly against one of your pulses.

    Or all of the blissful above.

  8. Remeber Homunculus Man? He’s the guy with the huge jaw, hands, feet. Imagine your jaw being ten times bigger than your face. It’s really easy, because from a sensory perspective it is. Get into this feeling. Be Homunculus. You’ll be buzzed and asleep before you know it.

    Or take Valerian. This herb blacks me out instantly.

    Or get a cat purring incessantly against one of your pulses.

    Or all of the blissful above.

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