What does this mean?

When I watch movies, particularly movies about collegiate or post-collegiate angst (you know the type), I am almost always most impressed with, or identify the closest with the character that has decided that intellectual onanism is the way to go, that the only ‘pure’ persuit is that of ‘useless’ knowledge. Which usually translates that the character was to do grad-school, or remain academic in some esoteric discipline. And when I dream of my ideal life, it often includes me gainfully researching/thinking about some esoteric subject that’s of no practical use for the vast majority of the world.

When I think of what I’d like to do if I never had to work again, it’s always either a)write fiction or b)write theory (philosophize). Being a programmer is never in there. It may well prove to be a route to such, but we’ll see. And it’s always much more important in these dreamscapes that people think that what I write is different & intelligent as opposed to popular. This is probably why I can be such an elistist sometimes. Deep down, I maybe want to be the joker in the ivory tower that no one understands, but know that he is doing something of note.