The Giant Angry Vagina In The Sky

I dutifully went to go see ‘The Return of The King’ yesterday, skipping out early from work and so on and so forth, making my way down to the big screen in Richmond. Arriving late (the movie started as we sat down), there was nothing left but the very front, which the ticket lady told us as if that would be a problem. Little did she know that I like sitting right up at the front.

So but and of course this is one of the mostly unreviewable films: no matter what, I was going to see it, and unless it was putrid, I was going to really like it. And so I really liked it. It may well be the weakest of the 3 films, in a filmic sense, but because it wraps up all those storylines so well that it’s excusable. And certainly Peter Jackson deserves much credit for actually completeing the films at retaining as tight control as he managed, given the overabundance of elements he could have filmed.

The title of this post comes from the Globe & Mail’s review of the film, which I unfortunately read before I saw the film, and so I couldn’t get that image out of my head whenever I saw the Eye of Sauron. I also couldn’t get past some of the homo-eroticism in this movie — it seemed like they really played that up in this one, with lots of longing, deep gazes shared between the various hobbits, and of course Gimli’s seeming unrequited love for Legolas. So perhaps this is fact a very faithful interpretation of Tolkein’s books (because once you’ve taken any sort of class of po-mo literary critique, it’s hard to read these books with an eye towards hidden homoerotic themes).

Should everyone see this film? Yes, but again, only if you’re a fan and have seen the other two. Otherwise, well, it just wouldn’t make sense. And if you’re a fanatic, I suspect you’ll have the most to quibble about in this film, but hopefully by this time you’ve accepted Jackson’s vision, because this film certainly completes his trilogy well, keeping consistent to the themes and elements introduced in the earlier ones.