The Onanic Post

So if you’ve been by with any regularity recently, you’ll most likely have noticed that posts have been somewhat infrequent of late. And it’s not that I don’t have anything to say, because I do, and it’s not because I’m too busy (because I am, but that never stopped me before), but it’s more a sense of malaise about this site. I’m on the verge of reworking it, but not being a designer, I’m having an amazing about of trouble realizing, or even putting my idea into words. Which has lead to me not posting because I don’t want to post to this old site, I want to post to the new site. Which of course is stupid, because the content is completely separated from the layout, and the old content will simple transform into the new layout. But still, it’s the new toy syndrome, I suppose. The old toy is never quite the same.

I suppose that more generally I’m suffering from the boredom that often attacks me at this time of year. I’ve a great sense of expectant waiting: waiting for something to change, something new to occur, something to begin. Not surprisingly, I have moved sometime between January and April nearly every year since moving out west. Or taken a week’s vacation somewhere. Or massively rearranged the house. Or done something ‘new’. And nothing like that has happened this year. And so I’m restless and uneasy and have little concentration. And it’s not depression, because I’m feeling quite upbeat generally. I just want something different to happen — some cosmic sign that it is indeed spring, that life is renewing itself. Something like that. I know that’s incredibly flaky of me to say that.

So perhaps my wanting to redo this site (and it’s not just this site. I really want to redo my corporate site too) is just a way of dealing with this desire for something to change. I’ve also been browsing through furniture catalogues online, been re-imagining ways to store my comics, books & CDs, been contemplating buying a place, etc — all spatially affecting events. The smart thing might be for me to purge possessions this year, as opposed to gaining new, different possessions, as I just have way too much stuff. There’s something like 20 boxes of books in storage that have been there since I moved last year. If I haven’t wanted them all year, chances are I’m not going to want them again. So maybe I should get rid of those ones, and move some of the books on my shelves to storage, and see if I want those books ever again.

If anyone has any suggestions or whatnot about how to kick the pre-spring malaise, let me know….