Peeing in a cup

Today, I had to pee in a cup. I’m not entirely sure why I was asked to pee in a cup, but it has something to do with the medical benefits & Life insurance that we at Pencilneck are now receiving. Officially, it’s listed as a full panel, including HIV. Now, that doesn’t seem entirely unreasonable to me, if a little invasive of my privacy. However, I learned that I’m the only one in my company that is required to take this test. And that pisses me off, because if this isn’t standard procedure, why was I selected? We were never given any indication during the lead up that someone would be required to do this test. And it’s not like I lead a high-risk lifestyle that would indicate that I should take this test: married with children, not a drinker, not a drug-user, no high-risk activities.

Anyhoo, lame-ass sheep that I am, I pissed into a cup this morning for some poor travelling lab-tech, who then whisked my pee away, presumably to be tested on behalf of Great Western Life, our insurance agents.

4 Replies to “Peeing in a cup”

  1. It’s like when I went to see Godspeed You Black Emperor! 5 years ago at the Vogue and we had to be patted down to get in. Durring the show the band lambasted the crowd for “being sheep and going in with arms at your side ready to be patted down.” Well yeah, but you can’t always be fighting back and always comforting. Sometimes you suck it up just so that you can get through life a little bit easier (picking and choosing your fights).
    So to sum up: you were a fucking sheep man.

  2. It’s like when I went to see Godspeed You Black Emperor! 5 years ago at the Vogue and we had to be patted down to get in. Durring the show the band lambasted the crowd for “being sheep and going in with arms at your side ready to be patted down.” Well yeah, but you can’t always be fighting back and always comforting. Sometimes you suck it up just so that you can get through life a little bit easier (picking and choosing your fights).
    So to sum up: you were a fucking sheep man.

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