Peeing in a cup

Today, I had to pee in a cup. I’m not entirely sure why I was asked to pee in a cup, but it has something to do with the medical benefits & Life insurance that we at Pencilneck are now receiving. Officially, it’s listed as a full panel, including HIV. Now, that doesn’t seem entirely unreasonable to me, if a little invasive of my privacy. However, I learned that I’m the only one in my company that is required to take this test. And that pisses me off, because if this isn’t standard procedure, why was I selected? We were never given any indication during the lead up that someone would be required to do this test. And it’s not like I lead a high-risk lifestyle that would indicate that I should take this test: married with children, not a drinker, not a drug-user, no high-risk activities.

Anyhoo, lame-ass sheep that I am, I pissed into a cup this morning for some poor travelling lab-tech, who then whisked my pee away, presumably to be tested on behalf of Great Western Life, our insurance agents.