as I tweeted in frustration late last night, I’ve been having troubles sleeping lately. This happens sometimes – bouts of insomnia – that usually correspond to my mind working overtime behind the scenes to process something (aside: I often think, and talk about my subconscious in the third-person, as if it is someone else. I’ve never thought about it too much, but is that odd? Do you think of your subconscious as a quasi-autonomous entity or fully integrated into you?) (aside #2: Why do porn-stars often refer to their genitalia in the third-person? To achieve the mental separation for good mental health?).
However, this is different – I’m actually very tired and trying to sleep. But there’s 2 things stopping me that I’ve only just noticed how important they are. One, I’m sick with a cold and thus have various breathing issues. Had Leah not been working night shifts this weekend, I’m sure either she would have slept in the spare room or I would have been banished, because I’m sure I’m snoring up a storm. But, that comes and goes, and my sleeplessness has been longer than this weekend.
The day after boxing day, I fell while snowboarding. I initially thought I had maybe cracked a rib, as each breach hurt so much. But once I calmed down, I realized I’d just hurt my ribs badly on the left side – likely something muscular, as any rotation or stretching causes a sharp pain just to the left of my heart. More or less manageable , except for one thing: I, by preference, sleep on my left side, arm stretched out under my head like a pillow. So, you know, fully extending those muscles on the left side of my torso. Which really hurts. So I can’t do that right now. Which means I’m trying to sleep on my right side – which is doable, but feels odd, so takes longer. But! because I clearly have muscle memory, I apparently keep rolling over onto my left in my sleep. Which sends a stab of pain on my left side when I do so. Which wakes me up. And starts the whole process over again.
Today is the first day that I can lift my left arm to shoulder height with what I’ll call “manageable” pain, so hopefully I’m starting to heal. But in the interim, I’m feeling desperately short on sleep.