I watched The Laramie Project on MovieCentral tonight. It was an odd experience. On one hand, I felt cheated – it was like watching a re-creation of a doumentary – actors speaking the words of real people from real interviews. So on a movie-watching level, it was somewhat deceitful.
But mostly, I just felt sad and angry. I cried watching this movie, so horrified for being human at this time. The idea that the unconcious hatred of another is so ubiquitous is nearly too much to bear. I look at America right now, all high and mighty on this crusade of their, and I just want to scream ‘look within!’. This whole idea of ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ as some positive way of life, when really, it’s a couched threat: ‘don’t tell me you’re gay or I’ll kill you – leave me ignorant and we can get along’. It’s disgusting.
The religious right continues to horrify me. It’s odd. These days, when I hear someone is religious, I have much the same reaction as when these people are told someon is gay – I immediately think less of someone. Which I know, is an equivalent problem. Should I find someone is part of a more liberal religion, I relax. Were I to know more Catholics like the one from Laramie, I may change my mind further. It was so refreshing to see a Catholic priest teach about unconditional love and hope – all my experience with catholocism seems so much about self-denial, self-hatred and cyclic guilt. But I think we’d all be better off we spent less time asking for external help and validation and spent more time getting to know ourselves – it’s hard to do evil unto others when there’s nothing or no one to absolve you.