2 days later

So on Wednesday you were officially confirmed by the doctor as existing. Or proto-existing. What I found really curious is that they count weeks pregnant from the last period, so suddenly, you’ve gone from not existing to being 5 weeks. Or PB:5 (Pre-Birth:5), as well, most people count age from time of birth, not conception. Apparently, you might already have started to develop eyes, and are not quite an inch in size. Which is freaky and a little gross.

This week has been really odd. I’ve wavered from wanting to shout from the mountaintops, to being in complete denial about this whole thing. I’ve told 2 friends, Brishen, who’ve I got complete faith in his secrecy, and Day, who, oddly, I don’t. But they’re my two best friends, and I had to tell someone. I worry that I’ve kicked some horrific curse now that I’ve told someone and that Leah will miss-carry you, and then I’ll have to tell them that too. And I really, really, really don’t want to have to tell someone that.

But you’re mum’s a damn healthy woman, and her mum has very little difficulty with her, so hopefully she’s got her mum’s genes. I think my mum had a hellish time with me & my siblings, so hopefully I haven’t passed on a ‘difficult foetus’ gene into you. Not that you’re even a foetus yet. I don’t really know what you are. But already, long before I’ve met you, long before it’s even a ‘sure thing’, you’ve entered my heart, and I find myself fiercely protective your, and and this point more importantly, your mother’s health.

She’s probably not noticed yet, but I’ve been significantly more active in/around the house these last 3 days – more proactive, as I don’t want her to have to do anything that might jeapordize her and therefor your, health.